For us, there was no question that we wanted to adopt after doing In vitro for Elise. Adoption had already captured our hearts, and we were so thankful to have experienced pregnancy and delivery. Do I ever hope for two pink lines again someday? It’s hard not to. To have a surprise pregnancy that didn’t involve a single needle would be… incredible. But we are excited and fully committed to this child with whom we will be matched through adoption. Adopting is not our second-choice, back-up plan. It is an indescribable gift that few experience simply because they don’t know enough about it, or it is more expensive and… ahem… difficult than it is to typically get pregnant!

But we are learning that many of our preconceived fears about adoption have little founding. More to come on that someday later!

For now though, here are answers to the two questions we are getting most often right now:

Why did you choose domestic infant adoption when you had originally wanted to adopt from Ghana?

Unfortunately, adoption from Ghana has been suspended. We seriously considered adopting from South Korea as well. However, upon contacting the agency that was recommended to us, the state of adoption from Korea right now is very slow – 2-3 years for approval, referral (matching), and placement. At the earliest, we could have brought our child home at the age of 18 months. A lot happens in 18 months and we are both working full time, and would be unable to take the necessary time to ensure proper attachment was formed. We didn’t feel this was a fair choice for any child of that age. 

Where are you in the process?

The process of adoption through our agency is this:

– Request for Formal Application (This included basic information and statements of intention and of faith.)

  {Done}

– Formal Application   (Detailed information including contact information for references, experience with children, and interest in children with special needs, older children, or children of a certain ethnicity.)

{Done}

– Meeting our caseworker   (This was… nothing really. We sat in a room and chatted and tried to keep Elise occupied. Thankfully Elise only demonstrated one of her meltdowns – when she realized the clothes that came with the baby doll the caseworker lent her were sewn together. Alas, what a tragedy to an 18 month old!)

{Also Done}

– Random Errands   (Getting references to complete their questionnaires, obtaining proof of employment, getting our well-water tested, getting fingerprinted, making copies of our ID’s, getting a copy of our dog’s vaccination records.)

{Mostly Done}

– Homestudy Visits   (In which our caseworker comes to the house to interview us on our family backgrounds, our relationship, our community, our home, and other personal information. The point of this is not to find fault with a family, but to (1), ensure both partners are equally committed to parenting an adopted child as their own and (2), to glean enough information to write a detailed report about the couple that will give a potential birth-mother a thorough idea of what kind of parents this couple would be for their child. Most birthmoms aren’t looking for perfection; just a safe, responsible, loving couple eager for a child to call their own.)

{Not Done – starting on Thursday!}

– Homestudy Approval    (Basically, just a short month or two of waiting for all the paperwork to be approved)

{Obviously Not Done}

– Waiting    (This is when waiting couples are informed about birthmoms planning on adoption, and given information about the birthmom and the baby.  This would include information about her due date, gender if known, and what amount of involvement she would like to have with the child. Then birthmoms view online profiles and profile books of any couples who were interested in her, and she starts narrowing down who she feels would make the best fit for her child.)

{Average wait time: 1 year}

– Referral   (When both the birthmom/birthparents and the chosen couple agree on an adoption plan for the baby.)

– Placement   (Bringing the baby home!)

 *********

We have really only just started the process, but I plan to give updates as we progress!