Tyler and I followed the nurses who were wheeling Isaiah in his bassinet to the Special Care Nursery. He wailed with abandon, the audible emotion silently raging in my own heart.
We were introduced to the nurses on duty there and then shown to a large room with several rocking chairs, some sinks and equipment, and – in the far corner – a festively-decorated desk.
We set down our bags and went to Isaiah’s bassinet to re-swaddle him and hold him close. It was an odd feeling to be without his birthmom. To be snuggling this baby as if we had any entitlement to him. We had signed lots of documents, but none of it made this moment feel any less dream-like. What had minutes ago been a tumultuous good-bye now settled into a beautiful, quiet moment of awe and wonder.
As I stroked his soft black hair, I imagined how Mary and Joseph must have felt. Everything in me was so powerfully drawn to him; yet now the reality that I had been chosen for him was a gift so beyond comparison…
…a sacrifice so beyond comprehension.
If we’re honest with ourselves, not one of us is deserving of the gift of parenthood. The intrinsic value of a child’s life is worth far more than even the enormous cost of adoption. In fact, there is nothing more valuable in this world than the life of a child.
As simple as it is to read those words, their truth was never more evident to us than in that moment.
It struck me that God is intimately acquainted with adoption. Even more so than we typically think.
Often in the Bible, God is portrayed as “Father” — adopting us and giving us His name and eternal inheritance of life with Him in heaven. Though we chose to sever ourselves from Him with our sin, He pursues us to adopt us with His steadfast, unconditional love. No paperwork necessary.
But there’s more to His experience of adoption. God is also a birth-parent. Except… whereas Isaiah’s mom gave up her son because she wanted a better life for him, God gave up His son because he wanted a better life for US.
“For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given.“
– Isaiah 9:6
Do you realize how ridiculous it is to imagine that any good parent would choose to give up their child out of love for the adoptive parents? To value the adoptive parents as much as they value their own baby?
In sending His Son, this is the very message God was sending to us. His love for us is equal to the love He has for His own Son.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave His only Son. That whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world through him might be saved.”
– John 3:16-17
Wow… stand back and try to unpack that.
It’s a funny thing how we forget the value and sacrifice of gifts we’ve received — children included. Yet, as our blue eyes gazed into the big brown eyes of our son, we had never been more aware of this undeserved gift that had been placed in our lap.
(For more reading about the virgin birth and the significance of the incarnation, check out this article: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-virgin-birth.)
I found your blog Cheyenne! I’ve been catching up on your adoption story, and wow, I’m just crying reading it. What a beautiful, heart-wrenching story. Isaiah is so handsome!
Callie, oh goodness! So good to hear from you! I’ve followed your blog off and on, and it seems that every time I find it, you are pregnant! 😀 It’s been awesome to see your family grow and your blog flourish. I love reading your recommendations, updates, and reflections on the Lord. We are so blessed by our kiddos, aren’t we?